After dating Mr Wrong, Mr Loser, Mr Lazy, Mr Rude and Mr WTF it can be very disheartening. Most women who have suffered from too many bad relationships would probably be ready to throw in the towel altogether, quit dating men and become crazy cat ladies. Hey, it’s probably easier.
But before you shut yourself away with several cats, hear me out. Despite what you might think right now, there good guys out there. Lots of them, in fact. The problem you’re having is that you can’t seem to meet them. Instead, you meet the ones who aren’t suited to you. It’s a drag and a time-waster, I know. I feel you.
But listen. I was where you are right now. I was disillusioned after dating all the wrong men. As I entered my thirties, I thought not only did men come from Mars, but that they’d actually left all the good ones up there. We earthlings had ended up with the ones Mars didn’t want!
But I took a course and listened to the advice of women and friends who had found the men of their dreams. And what I learned helped me to find my Prince Charming. So let’s look at 10 ways to meet a good guy.
Learn When To Say “No”
Whenever I was single, I wasn’t very selective regarding who I would date. If a man approached me and seemed cute enough and could actually speak English properly, I usually gave him a chance. Why? Because I was flattered that he’d approached me in the first place.
It’s important to be selective. If you aren’t, you’re going to waste so much time dating the wrong men while the right guys are dating other women because you’re taken (with the wrong man)!
I know you might be scared of being rejected or left alone. It’s the prime reason we end up in relationships with Mr Wrong. Anybody is better than nobody, right?
Not at all! Don’t settle for second best. Be prepared to wait.
Ask Your Friends
You can ask your friends for advice, but I would also suggest that you ask them if they know any single guys who might be interested in you.
Your friends are people you trust. You know them and love them, and their values are likely to be the same as yours. As such, there is every chance that their single guy friends are going to be good guys.
So why not see what happens by meeting up with one (or two) of them?
If you have no confidence, it will be very hard to meet the right man.
Indeed, it will be difficult to meet any man at all.
Trust Your Instinct
Before you start dating a man, it’s a good idea to listen to what your gut is telling you. If there are any kind of doubts and apprehensions, you should zone in on them carefully to find out what they’re saying.
It’s not often that a woman’s intuition is wrong, yet for whatever reason many of us choose to ignore it when it comes to dating. If the guy is hot and impresses us with his jokes, we’re probably going to be tempted to give him a chance – even if our gut is telling us to run away immediately.
Set boundaries. Listen to your heart.
The good guy isn’t going to wait around forever. Time is of the essence. Sometimes you’ve just gotta suck it up and approach him. Otherwise, you risk losing out.
Introduce yourself, say Hello. Smile. He’s a good guy – he’ll appreciate it.
Know What You Are Looking For
“Good” can sometimes be subjective. Some of the values I look for in a man might not be the same values that someone else looks for in a man.
However, we can surely say with certainty that all good men are honest, trustworthy, dependent, caring, protective and understanding.
Before you get into a relationship, make sure that you are aware of all the qualities you actually want from a man. If you are not, you might end up in yet another “fun” fling with a guy who is adventurous and exciting, but who ultimately doesn’t have the right values needed for a long term relationship.
Good people attract good people just like bad people attract bad people. If you ask the question why on earth you keep attracting the wrong men, it might be because you aren’t being YOU.
I had this problem once upon a time. Instead of believing in myself enough to actually be myself, I was acting a role of someone else. I was pretending to be something I wasn’t. On dating sites, I told white lies to make me sound more impressive. I hid a few awkward truths, such as my inherent shyness.
The result? I ended up with the wrong guys – guys who were even more dishonest than myself!
It’s hard to be 100% authentic, but it’s important that you try. Instead of trying to impress the wrong man with your acting skills, let the good guy find you by being yourself.
Try Online Dating
Yes, there are just as many weasels online as there are in real life. But you can’t walk into a bar and find out bits and pieces about each guy before talking to them.
You can, however, do this online.
A guy’s online dating site profile usually contains enough information that you can use to decide whether or not a guy is right for you – or a total loser.
Don’t Wait Around
The good guy isn’t going to just fall right into your lap. You can’t expect him to just come knocking at your door. Instead, you have to be proactive and go to the places where you think the good guys hang out.
It’s probably true that Mr Wrong’s are guys who loathe themselves. Because they don’t like who they are, they take it out on others. As such, they’re not very good at relationships.
Good guys, however, tend to be really comfortable in their own skin. They love who they are, and they feel positive about the world.
If you hate yourself, you’re far likelier to attract a fellow hater. But once you start loving yourself, there is every chance that you will meet a man who also enjoys his own company.
Practice self-love. It’s crucial. Don’t hit the dating scene until you actually like who you are.